I’m not English.

I’ve followed soccer (I prefer to call it football even though I’m American) since 2015.

Became enamored with things like relegation, derby matches, youth systems, tactics, transfer markets, and team histories.

So much so I got the year my favorite club was founded tattooed on my wrist.

So, maybe like you, I’ve been attached to the World Cup this summer.

And earlier this week, England lost in the semi-final.

The podcast I listen to [all English guys] talked about how this loss felt more unforgivable than all the rest.

They used words like shameful, disgraceful, and others.

I’m no pundit or emotional dude on X ranting…but something shocked me too.

See, the coach of England, Thomas Tuchel, brought my club team glory back in 2021; winning the Super Bowl of competition, the Champions League.

Now as the England boss, he said things to the press like:

If we go down, we’ll go down our way.

or

As the games get bigger, we’ll get bigger.

But up a goal with around 30 minutes to go, he brought on some defenders.

Sound. Makes sense.

Then again.

And before long it became very clear, no matter how much game he talked (and had previously backed up), he’d lost his nerve.

He went from playing to win to playing not to lose.

And whether you watch sports or not, you know who Lionel Messi is.

So when England showed fear, Messi pounced, and that was that.

They lost 2-1.

I don’t judge Tuchel. He’s a human being and had a human moment.

And he’s the man in the arena.

I respect him for the burden he took on.

And what happened is a very good lesson for all of us.

If the reward for playing to win and playing not to lose is the same…never adopt the latter.

I think that moment becomes something Tuchel has to face privately.

Not what people say about him. Not the responsibility he took on or the history of it all.

No.

What he’ll have, should he choose, is to look at it and wonder why.

And work on himself from there.

Fear isn’t something you can eradicate.

You hear people say, “Oh, he or she is fearless!”

A statement. Not the truth.

The truth is we choose our fear.

And once we have, we choose to what degree it’ll run our lives.

I used to be afraid of failure.

What people thought of me.

Looking stupid.

Now, I help people who fear these things not because I eradicated fear for myself.

I’m not fearless and would never want that label applied to me.

I made a different choice on what I’d be afraid of.

So, where I used to be afraid of failure…I became more afraid of not hitting my potential.

Where I used to be afraid of looking stupid…I became more afraid of being ordinary.

It’s formed a solitary rule in my life:

Never look back on any decision you made and ask, “Where was your courage?”

Tuchel probably doesn’t have the same rule. You probably don’t either.

We’re all different.

But playing to win requires courage.

You may still lose. It may go horribly wrong.

But you’ll know you gave it all, didn’t shrink, and can look back and be at peace with that.

It’s the simplest way for me to hold conviction.

And I hope, when you and I both get to the end, we’ll look back and not have a single moment to analyze.

We’ll know we did what we did with no regrets…and died in peace.

-C