Yesterday I had a meeting with an entrepreneur friend when the plumber came to replace the dishwasher.

As he opened the old one, I was like, “Shit, I’m sorry, let me get those dishes out for you.”

He looked at me, strong hands gently pulling out the dishes, calm but powerful, like a bull in the arena — capable of mass destruction, composed and efficient — and he said, “Son, I’m in the 10,000+ club,” carrying on emptying.

I’d not expected a response like that, so I had a pause in my comprehension. I suspect he could read this on my face.

And like someone else’s grandfather — the wisdom of age, the newness of fresh acquaintance — he said, in barely above a whisper, “Go to your meeting. You don’t need to worry. There’s a plumber in your house now.”

What an exchange!

I didn’t even catch his name.

I felt completely safe, wrapped in some different air, and felt capable of anything. I had nothing to do, but it was this guide that, through his demeanor and confidence, made me feel like so long as he’s in the same ship as me, I’ll be just fine.

And then I’m reminded of other moments where I’ve felt like this.

Where supreme calm makes any environment feel safe.

I think of a flight I was on with extreme turbulence, the plane flying through a lightning storm and dropping what felt like hundreds of feet at a time, and seeing two flight attendants sitting in the jump seats opposite each other, laughing and having casual conversation.

I’m reminded of when we’re in the operating room, my wife having a C-section for our twins, 30+ people in the room. My first daughter is fine. The second daughter comes out purple as a frozen blueberry.

My wife, whacked out on drugs, gentle as a 90-year-old saying, “Is she ok? She looks really blue.” And I see all the medical staff, calm, serene, focused, diligent, the hum of the machines louder than the voices in the room.

I tell my wife, “She’s beautiful and perfectly safe.” In my mind, I think, “She is quite blue. I’m not sure I’ve heard her cry yet.” But I never got beyond these slithered thoughts. Never to panic. Everyone in the room kept the mind from going crazy.

“You don’t need to worry. There’s a plumber in your house now.”

Somewhere in my life experience, I’ve learned to trust the environment more — to let go — than needing to control it, bend it to my will, to own it.

I came to the conclusion that when there’s a practitioner in the room, I model their behavior.

I’ll have no clue of the details. I’ve never flown a plane. I’ve never delivered a baby. I’ve never replaced a dishwasher. Hundreds of other instances where I was the recipient or the novice or the ignorant.

I let go.

Before, I didn’t. I had to be informed. I had to feel like I was smart enough. I had to fake it til I made it.

Painful. Not trusting. Stupid of me.

I don’t know when the light bulb hit. It just happened that I’d tell myself, as a plane is bobbing around like a jar in the ocean, “If they’re calm, so am I.”

So the illustration of what I mean is pretty simple…

You can choose this.

You can choose to be calm.

You can choose to be steady.

You can look to control or accept and let go.

I’d be loath to try and turn this message into some kind of marketing bollocks.

And it’s certainly not some vanity exercise to tell you how calm I am.

I’m saying, when I unconsciously chose this and behaved accordingly, life got more brilliant.

Brilliant as in…

I feel like I see things for what they are versus what I want them to be.

I sit in a bouncy plane seat and think “What an epic way to die.” instead of “I’m afraid to die.”

I trust my gut when a total stranger is in my house. I’m in a meeting with the door closed.

And brilliant as in the ROI on letting go means more mental space, better creative and professional output, and peace.

See, if there’s any secret — and it’s pretty damn visible, we just choose not to see it — it’s that the less you need to control, the less you worry, the less you read the news, scroll and consume, spend time with people who don’t light you up…the less you give these externals…the more you gain internally.

People say they want freedom. They equate it to more time, more choice, more money.

But these are compliments to freedom, not freedom itself.

True freedom is freedom in your mind.

It’s how someone with more money than me can seek my advice on living a fully aligned life.

It’s how someone with more followers can seek space with me to discover what life-giving relationships look like for them.

The external is only as useful as the internal believes it should be.

I talk to capable people for a living. Business owners, community leaders, prominent figures.

External giants. Internally unsafe.

They’ve never been told — or if they have, they didn’t register or believe it — “You don’t need to worry. There’s a plumber in your house now.”

What would you give to have an example of calm in your life?

What would it mean to observe that practitioner so much that you can let go?

What external uncontrollables are you holding onto that you want to stop giving space but don’t know how?

It’s a simple choice.

Choose calm.

Choose observation.

Choose to let go.

Choose trust.

And of course, if you’re still reading, I’d expect that you’ve mentally scoffed… “It’s not that easy, Colby.”

Alone? Sure, I agree with you.

I’m proof it’s possible, though. I didn’t come to this choice through some guide telling me I could choose it.

I simply operate in a life of questions.

And at some point, the question to myself was, “What are you gaining by needing to control this?”

And, lately, I’ve been speaking to a lot more people about “What I do…” which, to be honest, doesn’t fit into any tidy box that looks good on LinkedIn.

But I think this email is a pretty good illustration of the basics.

I ask questions that make anybody think differently and make the right person act.

Because I can acknowledge that choosing calm, in a life that’s felt anything but, can seem daunting.

But I’ve witnessed a hell of a lot through my work, that a lot of that daunting feeling is rooted in the imaginary. A belief system that serves the other not the self.

The questions I ask simply shine a light on the oddity, the lack, the likely outcome…and during a session, we’ll go from…

1. I feel stuck
2. Beat the shit out of the imaginary story through questions
3. Truth gets identified
4. Seems bloody simple
5. Next step gets revealed
6. I get a message a few days later about how bangin’ it feels to operate from the self not the other

And in the next session, we refine from the last one or tackle a new one.

No curriculum. Their life is the curriculum.

Which means the power is in the questions that reveal the truth, not my personal talent or some cookie cutter roadmap.

The only outcome I provide is complete internal trust.

When you work with dope people, they use internal trust as rocket fuel to a bangin’ external life.

They, and I cannot stress this enough, THEY get the external rewards because THEY take the actions.

The external rewards just come more naturally because the space I provide and the questions I ask reveal the truth—that they can operate on a more fun, more aligned plane.

They let go and are calm.

So, like every email, I don’t pre-plan a bunch. I don’t sit down and say, “I’m going to write an email that talks about how powerful the work I do is, and I’m going to have a call to action, and blah blah blah.”

No, I sit and write. I think of personal experiences. I never plan to rope it back to the work I do.

But, and I’m learning this trend about myself in real time—it seems to end up there instinctually and automatically.

It’s my version of operating on a more fun, more aligned plane. Letting go and discovering what I’m meant to say.

With the conviction I have, I simply cannot keep it in.

I genuinely look at what my clients have done in The Room and cannot believe how well it’s going.

Hand on heart, I feel like the work flows through me. I feel like a vessel. I feel like I’m witnessing people become the greatest versions of themselves right before my eyes. And while I’m a part of it, I don’t have any desire to take credit for it.

I just love being that witness.

So while the marketer in me would speak of how much better people’s lives are from going through this work with me…

The human in me doesn’t desire to speak of it that way.

It’s not me. It’s the power of the right question to the right person at the right time.

It’s the feeling of “You don’t need to worry.” I’ve got you.

It’s the service to the truth, not the ego, not the story from our past, not inherited rules.

It’s understanding this is all a choice, not a diagnosis you have to deal with for life.

The right question makes you think differently.

The right room makes you trust yourself.

The right action that YOU take, creates evidence you can embody a fun, aligned life.

I call it the bangin’ life.

I’ve got one, and my clients have one because we chose to.

And what yielded the choice?

The right bloody question.

Damn, Reader.

That was a lot. Way more than I expected.

And I wouldn’t expect me to not write like this again.

If you’re looking for supreme marketing polish, I doubt I’ll be that for you. No worries if you want to unsubscribe.

But stick around if you can picture my voice saying these words, and my hands on your shoulders, empowering you to choose exactly what you want.

To become what you’re meant to be.

Til next time,

C

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A few avenues…

[1] After testing The Room, with way better outcomes than I’d initially expected, and learning the ins and outs of the work, I learned my capacity is around 6 people at a time. I’m currently serving 4 people. If you’ve been thinking about working with me for a while, I’m officially capping it at 6, which means I’ve only got 2 spots left. Read this and drop your info if you want to explore it before they’re filled.

[2] Am I the only person creating a website on my own instead of Claude coding one? Probably. But colbywegter.com is getting a new look in the very near future. I’m looking for a few people to test the new look before it goes live to the public. If you want to test it for a few minutes and give me a sentence or two on your impressions of it, reply to this email and I’ll send you the private link. Happy to send you a coffee for your genuine feedback.

[3] I need your help. I’m toying with the idea of a private gathering space. Not a community with modules and all that, more of a very intimate, very human space. The goal? A place where we don’t have to play by inherited rules and say the right thing but can feel free to say the real thing and have support from other dope people who don’t judge, offer perspective, and discover their potential in real time. Right now I’m thinking…Private Substack? WhatsApp group? Not sure. If you desire something like this, or simply have two cents on what you think sounds cool, reply to this email and let me know.