Sickness is ravaging my house at the moment.

I’ve been a full-time dad this week and as I type this, I’m about to hop back to that mode.

So let’s get straight to the point, because I’ve seen these three words leave people confused, upset, or down.

I’d rather you feel clear, in control, and up.

Here are the three words (I’ll offer up alternatives that have helped me at the end):

Should

My least favorite word of all.

Simply put, should only exists in two contexts:

1. You did something, then learned new information: “I should have done it that way…”
2. You follow someone else’s plan: “I should do it this way…”

Neither one puts you in control.

You can’t make the best decision after the fact and you can’t be the best at living someone else’s life.

Hope

Jim Carrey said, “Hope is a beggar.”

Hope puts emphasis on what you get. Wish does the same thing.

It’s rooted in desire—wanting more all the time.

Those who hope aren’t happy. Those who hope need something.

The trick is needing nothing.

Assume

Thankfully, this is rare among people in my circle now.

It wasn’t for a long time. I was surrounded by people who said, “I assumed they…”

If you say assume, ditch it. And if you’re surrounded by people who say it, take a break from them.

Assume nothing. Expect nothing. Consider the alternative.

It’s its own form of control to realize you’re not in control.

Alternatives

Should doesn’t serve you. Self-trust does.

Swap “I should do this…” to “I trust this is the right move for me.”

Hope needs something. Faith accepts.

Swap “I hope this works out…” to “I have faith in this path.”

Assume gives control to others. Belief owns your lack of control.

Swap “I assumed they would…” to “I believe I will…”

Trust

Faith

Belief

The sides of the triangle.

When you possess all three, you have what I deem a person’s most powerful resource:

Conviction

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I’m on a mission to solve the self-trust epidemic so you can live a bangin’ life.

Dropping these three words is a good start.

Back to dad-mode in the sick ward.

-C