We’re getting settled in our new home in Iowa.

It’s not a big town, but it’s still 80,000 people.

And there’s wildlife everywhere.

I’ve seen more deer in my front yard in the last few days than I ever did growing up on a farm for 18 years.

And when you live in cities for another 18…you kinda forget they exist.

Since being here, I’m yet to have a less than 3 deer day.

But there’s a lot less majesty in some of the other critters.

I hate jogging but we live right next to the river and it seems a nice path to run alongside.

So, for the first time, I lace up my sneakers and head out before the sun.

As terrible as it is…all I could hear was birds, running water, no cars or humans.

Kinda lovely.

I saw a dozen rabbits, a raccoon baby, and as I turn the bend, I think…”Oh, another black squirrel.” Iowa City has tons of them.

And then it turns.

Big white stripe on the tail. Raised. Staring me down in the middle of the sidewalk.

My shoes sounded like tire squeal and sand. “Fuck no, not a squirrel!” I said out loud.

Ran the other way.

Narrowly avoided getting sprayed.

Because that stuff isn’t easy to wash off.

It got me thinking…the amount of people I talk to every week who see the skunk, smell the skunk, and still run right into the skunk fight…

I get it.

Most of us have been raised with a bit of, “You gotta suffer to get what you want.”

I won’t rail on that mentality.

It means well.

But there are some fights you just don’t need to pick.

Like how a client of mine knows in their gut they need to let an employee go but they’re head is spraying them with smelly goo that they should give them one more chance.

Or another client allowing endless access to them, scrubbing and scrubbing for some respect for their time and energy.

The reason it’s hard to hit the brakes and say, “Fuck no…” and actually act on that…

Is because we’re obsessed with trying to be better for everyone else before we’re good for ourselves.

So, even if we see the path ahead isn’t that appetizing…and if we really ask ourselves why we want to do it and keep coming up empty…it seems like the only place to go.

So we pick a fight with something we hate and wonder why, after doing it for a long time, it’s hard to scrub off.

But it’s available to you.

At my agency, I was working 40 hours a week, then 50, then 60, then 70.

Year on year for 9 years.

The fight I picked?

If I just work a bit harder, it’ll pay off.

I didn’t ask myself why I was doing it…not really.

I had a bunch of other paths available…but was too stubborn to stop fighting to see them.

And I was getting used to the stink.

I’m grateful for what it taught me.

But would I have avoided it knowing what I know now?

Yeah.

And the reason I changed wasn’t because I had a plan in place.

I’d finally realized I had better fights to pick.

So…

Are you picking your fight? Do you want to keep picking it?

Because there are other paths available.

Stop confusing the familiar fight with the worthwhile one.

-C